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Rewriting the Rules for Self Care

I am busy. I’m a mom, a friend, a wife, a daughter, a student, an entrepreneur, I work full time and probably have too many hobbies. And I like to be productive, it feels really good to be doing the things that I am doing. DOing DOing DOing…. While meeting all of the responsibilities of my amazing life, sometimes I lose track that I am a human BEING before anything else.


I was gently reminded about this last week, again. *sigh*


So I started asking myself a few questions. Why do I find it hard to prioritize myself? What would better self care look like for me every day? And most importantly, what are my new rules for self care, and how will I honor them?


Taking the time to take care of ourselves is vital to functioning in our crazy busy lives. We cannot run on empty. You can try running on dunkin’… the liquid energy industry is booming. But, even when we are functioning at half full, is that enough?


This is our one and only life. RIGHT NOW. We can choose how we want to experience all of the things that we experience, our work, responsibilities, our relationships and playtime. Whatever you are choosing to do with your precious time on earth, imagine what that would feel like if your “gas tank” were full, with something other than caffeine?

In 2019 we enjoy a far nicer standard of living than that of previous generations. Yet I see that many individuals struggle with fatigue, stress, poor health and relationships. I often wonder if the hunter gatherers were plagued with anxiety like our modern society. It couldn’t have taken more than a few hours to hunt and gather for the day…. were they chillin' out, maxin' and relaxin' the rest of the time? It seems to me that the trade off for permanent homes, health care, modern technology and plentiful food may be our mental health. It's ironic, but in this world of digital convenience and instant everything, perhaps we just need to slow down and do what makes us most human.


I am rewriting my self care rules, which include drinking enough water and having time that is explicitly “unplugged” everyday. Here are a few ideas you can use right now to start rewriting your self care rules:


  1. Make the appointment you've been putting off, the doctor, massage, hairdresser, whatever it is, just do it because no one else is going to do it for you.

  2. Take yourself on a date this week, all by yourself, to do something you love for at least two hours.

  3. Start a journal. Your writing doesn’t have to be anything that’s headed for the best seller's list, in fact, it doesn’t have to be writing at all. Simply putting your pen to paper for a few minutes a day will start to get you in touch with a more creative side of you.

  4. Go to bed earlier tonight. Sleep is kind of a big deal.

  5. Center yourself daily for at least 5 minutes, more if you’ve got it, and as many times a day as you’d like. Centering yourself is simple: Just close your eyes and focus on your breathing. Pay attention to what your senses are telling you. You don’t need a guru, any bells or special oils, crystals or meditation apps, unless you’d like to add them.

  6. Forgive. Whomever or whatever it is you need to forgive, just do it. Hanging onto that stuff is toxic.

  7. Give yourself permission to take the first tiny step to whatever it is. You know what I'm talking about.

  8. HAVE SOME FUN!!! Don’t wait to lose that last five pounds to go paddle boarding, or until you have a date to try a new restaurant. Don't hold back!


Watercolor by Anna Scelfo

Anna Scelfo

Becoming an iPEC Coach

New Growth Coaching LLC

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